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Self-Comparison: How to Empower, Not Destroy

Comparison is a powerful effect. I can't go one second without seeing someone elses better life or skills or wealth or acheivements...


Once you start down this hole you can really get stuck there. You are your own worst critic, and it is vicous...


This critic, this voice, despite being cutting, is also very dumb. It's source of power comes from superficial ideas and more often than not our own asumptions. We willingly destroy ourselves using scarce information, a tiny, edited window into someone elses life....


Presentation and editing play a massive role in this. Very often we only see people when they have floated to the tops of our feeds - earned by diligent practice at presenting and editing their content. Either through superficial editing or legitimate skillful practice the essence is the same - that we're only ever seeing the tip of the iceberg;


- we see their latest masterpiece and not the hundreds of awful, laughable failures before...

- we see their happy smiling face or beautiful life infront of the camera but not the stressful reality behind...


Of couse we all know this...


I think in an age of hyper-connectedness we really have lost a lot of the benifits of isolation and our own genuine feelings. If we reclaimed just a small amount of this by starting to find our own fun for ourselves then this destructive comparison can not just be avoided but actually reversed and used as fuel instead....


If we focus on ourselves, turning away from the outside world, and try to apperciate what makes us happy in our vicinity we can start to build a more concrete sense of ourselves -


- It doesn't matter if they're in the Bahamas, I love playing football in the park.

- I don't need a fancy car, my plants and pets are all I need.

- I don't need to be as good as that master, I just love to paint regardless, maybe one day I will get there but until then I'll enjoy every single moment.


These ways of thinking do not just negate the negativity of comparison but turn it into something empowering - when you know that all you need to make yourself happy is yourself and right here, all the rest seems so superflous and needlessly complex...


It's really about knowing what actually makes you happy...

From that you can not just see the surface comparison, but the deeper one...


If you get what that other person has will you actually be any better off?


If yes then what was once destructive is now a powerful precedent for you to follow...

If no then you know that exactly where you need to be is exactly where you are...